


Photograph

by heavenindaylight



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenindaylight/pseuds/heavenindaylight
Summary: The small piece of paper in his hands was frayed and faded. Thirty years tucked away in his wallet did that. Set post-series. One-Shot.
Relationships: Donna Paulsen & Harvey Specter, Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Kudos: 7





	Photograph

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought I'd ever write a story like this, but if there's one thing I've learned; when inspiration hits, you just gotta go with the flow. So here we are.
> 
> Big thanks to anna and Yvonne for beta'ing and feedback. It means the world!
> 
> The story is inspired by the song 'Photograph' by Cody Fry. If you haven't heard it, I encourage you to give it a listen before reading. It sets the mood. I promise.

.

.

_If I wished myself a superpower_

_I would make this moment last for hours_

_If I had my way_

_Time would just stand still_

_Wait for me until_

_I find some magic film_

_To take a photograph_

_And live inside_

.

.

  
  


The warm air of spring stroked his tear-stained cheek. Cherry blossom trees surrounded the bench he resided on, the utmost symbol of new life. A stark contrast to the reality he was living. 

He hadn’t meant to escape the group of people inside. He’d just needed a moment to gather his thoughts. To just reminisce for a while. 

The small piece of paper in his hands was frayed and faded. Thirty years tucked away in his wallet did that. But even so, looking at the photograph gave him the same feeling now as he had when he took the picture all those years ago.

.

.

  
  


_They’d moved back to Manhattan earlier in the winter. Seattle was fine, but when a branch of their new firm was to open in New York, it felt right to make the move. Mike and Rachel had joined as well, wanting to be closer to family seeing they were expecting._

_The familiarity of the city was relaxing, the less than fourteen-hour days meant they had more time for each other and their pastime activities. Donna had even joined a theatre company in Brooklyn. Nothing big, but it gave her a place to explore her creative side, which had yielded for way too long. Harvey was happy to see her thrive on her own. It made him proud, while also immensely grateful knowing everything she’d given up for him to get where he was today. He owed that woman his life. And he knew it._

_He stopped in the doorway looking at her, taking in her beauty in that very moment was overwhelming. He wanted it to last forever._

_The sun was about to set, the light making her cream-colored, freckled skin sparkle like gold. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips swollen, a testament to their recent vigorous activity. Her beauty worthy of a painting, he thought._

_Donna had brought her bedsheet out into the living room chair where she’d nestled herself in them, knees cuddled underneath her chin. Her eyes peered through the windows, taking in the buzz of the city below. She was wandering the corners of her mind, playing thoughtlessly with the ends of her hair when she heard a soft snapping sound._

_Turning around she saw him standing at the entrance to the living room, clad only in boxers, his signature grin the only thing visible on his face, the rest hidden behind a metal lens directed her way._

_“I thought I could escape the pappz in my own home.” She chuckled, raising her eyebrow the way only she knew how._

_Harvey loved the sound of her laugh. He lived for it._

_“I’m sorry, but this view deserved to be captured for eternity.” He grinned while closing in on her, his lips landing in the crook of her neck while his nose breathed in the scent of her. “And even though you got the lead part, I doubt the paparazzi are coming for you just yet.”_

_“Don’t burst my bubble,” she moaned in mockery, her eyes glaring at his empty hands. “And though I know this five-foot-nine stack of gorgeousness might’ve blinded you, mister, my eyesight is still on par, and I don’t see no cups of coffee in your hands,” she said, her fingers finding the hair in the nape of his neck._

_“You said you were gonna cut back.” He kisses her cheek, his lips hovering over her ear, while his fingers traced the front of her body, teasing the valley between her breasts._

_“_ One _cup isn’t going to ruin anything, Harvey.”_

_“I know, but…”_

_“Better safe than sorry?”_

_“Something like that.”_

_“You’re sweet and I love you, but even the doctor said a coffee every now and then won’t hurt. And right now feels like an ‘every now and then’ moment, don’t you think? All this strenuous activity makes me tired, I need the caffeine.”_

_“But...” A heavy breath left him in defeat._

_She grabbed his hand, moving it down to cup her breast. “Would it make you feel better if I had a decaf?”_

_“Maybe?” he said, dragging his words, as a childish grin found its way across his face._

_“Remind me why we’re trying for a baby when I’m already living with a man child?” she asked, tracing her hand down his back, finally giving him a slap on his butt. “Now, go. Get your pretty ass in there and make your wife the cup of coffee she deserves.”_

_Harvey groaned as he teased her nipple before he turned around and headed towards the kitchen. “I still can’t get over the fact you think I’m pretty,” he flirted._

_Donna paused._

_“I said your_ ass _was pretty. You on the other hand? The jury is still out on that one.”_

_“The women of Manhattan disagree,” he yelled from the kitchen._

_“You’re an idiot,” she yelled back._

_“Your_ pretty _idiot.”_

.

.

  
  


Harvey smiled at the memory, wiping a tear away as he sensed a small figure beside him on the bench. Five little fingers found his right hand and squeezed comfortingly. He turned around finding a pair of well known hazel eyes, framed by strawberry blond curls. 

“I miss her,” the little one said. The kid’s intuition regarding her surroundings never ceased to amaze him. She was a smart one, not even a decade old. 

“Me too, Pumpkin,” he said, voice low trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “Me too.”

The girl turned her head around, staring into oblivion, something obviously churning in her head. 

“What’s on your mind, kiddo?” he asked. 

The child frowned while biting her lower lip. “Mom makes good pancakes.” She breathed. “But Grammy always added strawberries and whipped cream. I’m gonna miss Grammy’s pancakes. They were the best.”

“They sure were.” He smiled, the kid thankfully unaware of the memories triggered in Harvey’s mind.

“What do _you_ miss the most, Gramps?” she asked, her innocent eyes finding his, oblivious to the gravity of her question.

“That’s a big question with an even bigger answer.”

“I got the time,” she answered lightly. “School’s not until Monday.”

Harvey laughed, drying a tear away from under his glasses. “There’s so much, Pumpkin,” he said, tucking a stray hair behind the little girl’s ear. “But most of all, I guess I miss the way she used to bring me coffee in the morning.”

The little girl shook her head in bewilderment, her sass also something she’d inherited from Donna. “Coffee? Really, Gramps... You grownups are weird.” 

A chuckle escaped him then. “I’m just saying, your grandma made the best coffee there ever was. She even put vanilla in it.”

The little girl's eyes were suddenly big as saucers. 

“Really?”

“Really.”

The little girl contemplated her next question. “Gramps… Could you make me some of that coffee one day? I really think I’d like it.”

He smiled at her then. “Sure, sweetie… One day.”

They sat together in silence for a while, when a voice interrupted their thoughts.

“There you are, Mattie,” the woman said. “Could you please go inside and help your dad? Mom and Gramps need to talk. OK?”

Mattie looked up at the woman whose hair was the same color as her own, but eyes dark brown like the ones belonging to the man sitting beside her. She gave the older redhead a nod. Before jumping down from the bench, she leaned over towards Harvey and gave him a kiss on his forehead. 

“Love you, Gramps. Looking forward to that coffee,” the young girl said before she ran inside. 

The woman gave him a confused look. 

“Coffee… Really? Dad, she’s seven!” 

“I’m not going to deny a woman her caffeine,” Harvey argued amicably. “I tried that once, she wouldn’t let me hear the end of it. Not gonna go down that rabbit hole ever again.”

“Mom?”

“Yes.” His eyes were tearing up again. 

“I’m sorry if Mattie bothered you, Dad. I never wanted for you to feel sad today.”

Harvey shook his head. “Lily… She could never bother me. I love that girl to death. And me feeling sad has nothing to do with her.”

“Does that photo have anything to do with it?”

He suddenly felt called out, just like Donna had done so many times before. He nodded, a single tear finding its way down his cheek. 

“Can I see it?” Lily asked, her eyes finding her dad’s. 

Harvey gave the old photo another glance, before handing it over to his daughter. 

The picture now residing in Lily’s hands showed her mother clad only in bedsheets, skin bathing in evening light peeking through the curtains. 

“I always thought Mom was beautiful, but this is really something else. It’s like she has an ethereal glow about her.”

“I know.”

“If I hadn’t known any better I would’ve thought it was a painting,” Lily said, more to herself than to her dad.

“I know.”

“So what’s the story?” 

Lily didn’t want to push her father too much, all the while knowing he’d always needed a little encouragement before opening up. 

Harvey swallowed before he found his words. “I took it the day before we found out we were pregnant with you.”

.

.

_The stirring sounds from the bathroom woke him up from his sleep. Less than a minute later Donna emerged, standing in the doorway with an enigmatic look on her face, the glow from yesterday still prominent._

_“Are you just gonna keep standing there tempting me or are you gonna come back in bed so we can keep practicing making that baby,” Harvey said drowsily, wiggling his brows._

_She didn’t reply, still impossible to read._

_“What?” Harvey asked._

_“We don’t have to practice.”_

_“I know we don’t have to, but I’d_ really _like to.” His grin was mischievous as ever._

_“I mean… we don’t have to_ practice _anymore, Harvey.”_

_It took a few seconds, but he was slowly catching up. He swallowed hard, trying to hide the lump in his throat. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”_

_A smile grew across her face as she gave him a soft nod._

_Harvey fought back the tears threatening to spill. “Yes?”_

_“Yes.”_

.

.

  
  


“So my birthday brought up some memories, huh?” Lily asked, glancing at her father apologetically. 

“Something like that.”

“I’m sorry, Dad. Maybe today’s celebration was a bit premature.”

“It’s been six months, Lily. I’m a grown man, I shouldn’t feel raw about it still,” he said, weary by this new reality. 

“Dad! Give yourself a break. You lived with the woman for over thirty years, loved her for many more. Grief is not a switch you can turn on and off as you please. You gotta let yourself feel it all. It’s ok.”

He smiled, taking her hand in his. “You’re a lot like her, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” Lily chuckled. 

“I just miss her, that’s all.”

“Me too, Dad,” Lily said, giving the old man a knowing look. “But that’s not all though, is it?”

He sniffed, not surprised she saw straight through him. His voice was low as he fiddled with his hands. “I’m scared I’m gonna forget her.”

“We won’t let you,” Lily said fast. 

Harvey shook his head. “You can’t promise that. The doctors said—”

“Dad, listen to me!” Lily said, grasping her father's hand so hard the blood slowly drained from it. Her lips were quivering now. “I swear to God, even if it’s the last thing I do, I won’t let that happen.” 

She needed him to understand she was serious about this. “I’ll visit you every day, look through old photos with you, play old home recordings, tell you all the stories you’ve told me about you and Mom, how you met, how stupid you guys were before you got your shit together and how happy you were when you finally allowed yourselves to love each other freely. And I’ll share all the good memories I have of you guys while growing up.”

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. “What do you say?”

He smiled at Lily, his thumb wiping the stray tear away from her cheek, kissing her hair as she lay her head on his shoulders. “I’d like that.”

Harvey couldn’t stop his tears now. For an old man, he should probably feel a bit embarrassed by it, but instead, he felt blessed. Blessed for the woman who still owned his heart. For all those mundane moments they’d shared that had become sweet memories. For all the times they’d walked through pain side by side. For her resilience and standing by him even when he didn’t deserve it. For loving him and convincing him he was worthy of being loved. For giving him a family. For all the years they’d shared together before she had to leave him and this life. 

For the photograph in his hands and his past self who had taken the time to perpetuate that beautiful moment, a proof that everything had been real. For the feeling the picture still stirred in him even to this day. For him still being able to remember how it was to feel young and in love. And even though she was gone, she still lived on in his heart and had the ability to make him feel. Everything. 

.

.

_I need some way to prove that this was real_

_A memory is not enough_

_I'm scared that I'll forget the way it feels_

_To be young and in love_

_Let me stay right here_

_Just a moment longer_

_The picture is so clear_

_Please let this last forever_

  
  


.

.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah… Sorry about that. It hurt writing this, I actually cried. But the story wouldn't leave me unwritten. Thanks for reading. Please leave a review, it means the world to me and I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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